My Heaviness

Thoughts...
Palpitating...
like my beating heart...
the rhythm, its cadence
a sad one...

it sways depending on which way the wind blows.


Had I chosen a different path, filled with less faces

less talking, less traces...what might be?


To turn back time, to loose myself in those thoughts, looses time.

The feelings of now are holding me down, still.

Regardless of how I WISH to feel.


The daily struggle to unwind,

to fit in,

to want to try...


I'd like to vanish.

to steer free.

to loose myself in the wind's breeze.


Freedom, one hopes, everlasting,

honing it brings thoughts of lives once thought of as long lasting.


I find comfort in your arms, take in your love,

in hopes that will be enough.


It's those lonely thoughts...

that creep on in, that kill me every time.